the waiting game

What an interesting life this is, oh weary heart of mine
a strange place to be, changing all the time
would justice be served better, if it was served at all
if there was only order, chaos would surely ensue

my brittle little world, full of distant beauty
so much to look forward to, no idea when that'll be
So much fun had, so little to show for it
oh I could end it all, but I know it could improve

so much comes down to so little, so many to so few
i've wasted so much, I own too much
but mostly I long for that love, that elusive happiness
for all this material keeps me, but can't satisfy my heart

so many 'friends', so few enemies
I mean so little to most people, lost in the crowd
too complicated to be simple, can't make conversation
I know so much about so little that means much to anyone

on reflection it's not so bad, the few make up for the absence of many
but I can't see past my waste of opportunity, who knows what I could be
No chance to shine, too afraid to fall, not at all social
aim for a niche market, there is always a chance of failure.