Monkeys! Flying!

We have landed(In shit)

So what is today?
The day after yesterday? The day before tomorrow?
It is both of these and more...It is the day 2 days after the day before yesterday...
think about it.

Well enough of shit(for that is what I have had)
and on with the post proper...enter intelligence(possibly through the back door so that nobody sees it) Why are there so many stupid people? Is it some sort of disease?
If so then it is the most deadly disease known to man(although the common man knows little about everything, and nothing about most things).
Why am I saying this today? Because I feel like it. It is also true. But a sausage is true as well so I could have talked about that, or any other truth. So why idiocy, stupidity, ignoramity? Why not!

I am, in other news, very pleased with how this blog is going in general, especially as I only started it to spew out random shit that had very little place anywhere else. I didn't even have the intention of making it a group blog(that idea was a good one though)
What I am trying to say is thank you one and all for your input, and long may it continue!

Heh Heh...

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Some people are like Slinkies.....
Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Damned In Any Language(A Plague On Words)

Well, I thought it was about time I did something on here, seeing as I did start it. Well I, as you might know by now, never have any idea what to write, and write the first thing that comes into my head...blowing the crap out of everything!
I don't knoe if any of you know of a game called mercenaries, but that is what it says on the back...blow the crap out of everything!
This is obviously a very American type of game, as 'If it moves shoot it...if it doesn't, blow it up! That's the American way!' is basically this game in a nutshell. Albeit in a grenade shaped nutshell, blowing the crap out of where it lands, presumably. But anyway, it is fun, but I was watching a programme about the best fighter planes ever recently, and it was American, but one guy(American) that was talking about one of the planes was saying how much fun it was to cruise around at speed, do loops, rolls, shoot and bomb stuff. Hang on, he finds it fun? To bomb people? Well that is a bit, well it makes him a nutter, with bombs basically. No wonder there were so many friendly fire incidents in Iraq, if all of the people in the planes were having so much fun. They just couldn't get enough of that bombing, and just blew everything up!
Well that made the military look good, but I'm not really surprised much unfortunately.

In the wake of adversity...

... The Saturnyne thinks about jeans and the possibility that he's eaten too many cakes.

Other peoples i leave to comment about the hideous events of recent days...

My own nightmare is that i have had to buy new jeans. New Jeansss!!! New ones! For practically overnight, i find my lithesome size 30" waist has exploded out by an extra 2... possibly even 3 inches!

The horror! Oh the horror!

How did this happen? Was it my penchant for yummy chocolate eclairs and varieties of equally yummy savoury snackies? Or perhaps that i've been sat on my arse all day for several days, playing computer games? And talking to lovely peoples on Yahoo and MSN...

Can i possibly pin the blame on someone else? (preferably, yeah.)

S.

Neighbours from Hell, or specifically Byker Grove.

Just been catching up on the posts here, and chortled at the neighbours one. Did comment, but thought I'd elaborate (and bore the tits of ye all!).

Two years ago we bought a sweet little house in a sweet little terraced street in a shabbily genteel seaside village. Oh domestic bliss! Oh felicitous harmony! It lasted two weeks (during which point Swamp Donkey and Cave Troll must have been away). I spotted from our bedroom window the arrival of a large shed, positioned where we had a lovely view. And what did the fuckers put in this shed??? Drums, that's what. Right by the bedroom window.

Being thespians (she a bit part actress, he a drummer in a folk band), they have nocturnal hours, which is fine. By the feckers are also deaf, and spend their nights hurling abuse at one another, which, whilst funny in that the aruguments are usually over something mundane like Eric's missing jumper, they generally evolved into language fests that went on. And on.

And then the four day parties started - good effort for people in their fifties who look like animated corpses in the daylight. OK on a weekend, not so good on a Monday night when they give you two hours sleep before work, and then THEY get to go to bed. The parties involved loud people sat under our bedroom window all night talking about how utterly fabulous they are (more bloomin' thespians...) and smashing bottles off the walls until 6am. We have an excellent music system however, that pumped the likes of Marilyn Manson back at them (and erm, Meatloaf complete with my yodelling at them) all day long. Petty, but satisfying. Oh, we also left a dead armadillo in their uncut grass and planted lotsa hemp in there for them...and reported them to the council as nuisance neighbours because they refused to answer the door when we knocked to complain (they said we were threatening and scary. Oh boo hoo you fat ugly untalented bitch).

Anyway, end of rant. If you want to see the fat ugly old troll you can find her here...n.b. her role in The League of Gentlemen series 3 was as Fat Lady hatpins, who gets suffocated in the episode in the B&B where they have the sex party....oh how we laughed! She says two words! She also died in Holby City with what we like to think of as her 'poo face' being her death mask.

Needless to say we moved, though our dispute knocked £10k off the value of our house (and the constant drumming didn't help either). The people who bought the house were musicians, so no doubt they're all happy together.....

ono!

Don't be worrying about me (if possible)

But do send a message of love and affection to our lovely co-conspirator Leash, who is a fabulous personnage from the other side of the world and deserves immense huggage.

You ok, darlin'? I've been reading yr Myspace blog... tried to leave a comment, thinking it was that MSN My Space thing... took me ages to realize they were two different entities entirely. Er... oops.

Come in outta the rain, and let me make you a mug of something warm... anything alcoholic you might want to add to it is entirely of your own choosing, though.

(But having said that, i do have a nice red -not too dry- for the creating of a fine and friendly atmosphere all round. In fact, less 'ave a party! Yer all invited! My Lounge may have the decorators in, but it's still cosy and there's room for all.)

(Any excuse for a drink! I'm such a lush!)

Yours grinning manically

S.x

Within the galaxy...

...there are the most interesting little things we've come to know as humans. Interestingly, I am one of them. Well, depending on who you ask. Anyway, sometimes you cross paths with a human and get a really good vibe from them. Perhaps you can't put your finger on the exact reason, but the feeling is there all the same. Well, when I first stumbled into Saturnyne's Lounge, I felt that he was one of those people. To be honest, I don't know him from anyone else, but he just has a way about him. He strikes me as a free spirit in many ways but has had something very difficult come to rest upon his shoulders of late. I just want to lend my support and maybe urge others to do the same. Just because we've never met does not make me care less. On the contrary, it reminds me that of all the people I've come across, he is one that has made an impression and it makes my concern more genuine. Knowing good people is wonderful, knowing when those good people are hurting or overwhelmed is rather upsetting. When the time is right, and things are at a comfortable place, The Saturnyne will rejoin the festivities. I know this because he has pictures of the galaxy on his blog... a map of sorts, seeking out his next person to cross paths with.

Sod's law-discuss

In which the prisoner debates Murphy, and all his ramifications

I don't believe in things averaging out, somewhere in the world there is a force manipulating all those little things so that they turn out in the most irritating way, like bread always landing butter side down. Actually there's a scientific explanation for that. but try explaining this...

When i -like any dutiful son should- make tea for mater and pater (mom and dad to you yanks), i always, ALWAYS have the mugs in the wrong hands, so i have to perform a complicated swapping maneover to give each parent the correct tea. In all the times i have made the tea i have never once got them the right way round no matter how hard i try. Damn you Murphy.

and another thing. i'm reasonable tall, just about six foot, and yet at gigs ALL the tallest people elect to stand right in front of me and NOONE ELSE. i mean it, nobody. plus i'm always right in the path of ALL the people making their way to the bar or the lavatory, all of them, who then decide it's a good idea to try and get past me, or through me, despite the fact that in a crowded area someone of my size resembles a roadblock in a camo jacket. i despair of these people.

i'd accept these curious happenings if it sometimes went the other way, but it never does! gaaah. *frustration* there must be more examples of sod's law at work out there, share them with me!